Sunday, January 3, 2016

My beloved K

     I often stop what I'm doing and stare at K.  I like to take notice of him in moments when he has no idea I'm intently studying him.  No matter if we've been connected or distanced, happy or angry, in those moments when I get to watch him my heart swells with such an immense amount of love that I usually have to reach out and touch him just to relieve the pressure. 

     I make special note of what he does. I see the way he bites his bottom lip in concentrated thought so that the patch of hair directly beneath it pokes out straight. I watch him absentmindedly stroke his beard over and over and over, so much that I wonder how his hand doesn't get a little numbed from the courseness of the feeling.  I watch the way he thins out his lips into a tight purse and sighs so deep that it still startles me. 

     He looks a little different, too, each time I do this.  The patch of gray on the right side of his beard has grown just a bit more.  His eyes, always alert, are the same wonderful brown ones I've always looked into except this time they look more tired, or frustrated, or excited.  Depending on the day, his shoulders are more slumped and his brow more furrowed...or else he stands tall, his looming presence full of vigor and cheer. 

    When he's doing a goofy dance to get my attention I notice the way his facial expression is asking me a question...will this make you smile...while he waits for my response.   The answer, as always, is yes.

I'm glad to live this life by his side.  

2015 in retrospect

So long 2015.  Thanks for everything. 

You welcomed me in January with music, games, dancing, a ton of friends, and my loving husband by my side. 

In March, you saw K and I through fertility treatments that led to my April pregnancy (just in time for our trip to California to attend an infertility and adoption conference). 

You greeted me in May with another cause for celebration as K completed his undergraduate degree in geophysics and so many of us gathered to acknowledge his accomplishment and eat barbecue together. 

Come July, you led me to my new career as an ER nurse. 

You watched as K and I vacationed to Colorado in early September and you got a bit melodramatic when you put me on bedrest just a couple of weeks later. 

By November you dragged me into my newest job as a telephone triage nurse. 

And the cherry on top of the delicious Sunday you so graciously served: you ushered in December with the arrival of our sweet P.'ve got some big shoes to fill. No pressure.