Saturday, December 26, 2015

Blanket Apology

I'm going to apply a very sincere blanket apology for my blog in the event that the influx of 'baby' posts hurt anyone.   I'm sorry.  I realize that baby posts may be just as or more painful than pregnancy posts for you wonderful, struggling sisters of mine.  I don't mean to hurt you.

Also, I'd like to explain: I don't ever want my daughter to think that I'm ashamed of/am apologizing for her.  I'm so proud to be her mom.  She was 3 years in the making.  She was my constant dream.  I would both destroy the world and lay down my life for her without a second thought.   Thus, I can't and won't censor my posts about her.   The lack of her is the reason for this blog, really.   Thankfully, luckily, blessedly, I journeyed to something else and along the way I found her.  

Monday, December 14, 2015

Our Miracle Baby

I knew my pregnancy was high risk because of my short cervix.  I just didn't know there was more to it than fact, no one did until our babe was out of my body and safely in my arms.

K says that when my OB attempted to deliver my placenta, the cord snapped and came out alone.  He heard the OB mutter to herself that she "never does that" and watched as she intently studied the end of the cord to see what happened.  Suddenly, as he tells it, her face got serious and she told me I was about to hate her.  Cue a painful retrieval of my retained placenta.

About an hour later, once we were all cleaned and the shift had changed, the nurse informed us that our baby was a miracle.  We nodded and agreed.  "No, she really is", she insisted, and proceeded to tell us just how much someone "up there" had been watching out for us.  Unbeknownst to anyone, our baby had a really short umbilical cord and a condition called velamentous cord insertion (VCI).

A velamentous cord insertion is a dangerous condition for both mother and baby.  Our nurse told us that 50% of pregnancies with this condition don't carry to term.  If the problem is noticed, which is rare, and conditions are precarious enough, they will take the baby by c-section at 35 weeks.  A normal cord is attached safely and directly into the placenta.  With VCI, the cord is attached weakly and unprotected into the membrane.  You can google the rest of the details if you're interested.   I get emotional if I try to explain it more than that.

When my OB visited the next day she explained all about the short cord and VCI, providing a little more detailed information than the nurse from the previous day had.  She ended the conversation with a sweet, tight smile and said "she was meant to be here, that's all I can say".

Fertility treatments, a twin sac that didn't develop, high risk (and then some) pregnancy - our little girl arrived on 12/5/2015 after 38 weeks of my being pregnant. From start to finish, she's our miracle.