Monday, June 12, 2017

The Hardest Thing

By now all of our family and friends (and used to be friends) know that K and I are separated.

It has been the hardest and worst and saddest decision ever made.  There's no way to explain how we got here except to air a bunch of deeply personal marital issues that are better left for the offices of counselors.

I will say that I wish I had reached out to the right people. The detrimental outcomes for my
mental health, my marriage, and my family of trusting the wrong friends to seek out for help and guidance when my heart was overwhelmed with hurt is something I will always regret. Once the announcement had been text blasted to all those we thought closest to us, it became so apparent whose hearts and advice I should have sought.  I hope to never make such mistakes again and I hope that this can serve as a warning to anyone in my position.

To K and our sweetest P.   I never wanted this life. I'm shocked by it every single day. K, I enjoyed so many things in our life together. I'm thankful we've had the chance to really talk a few times and try to move forward with healing. I doubt it will ever be enough. P,  if you ever read this, our lovely, miracle darling, I want you to know that we loved each other. You were prayed about and conceived in love. We just failed, my girl, and I'm really sorry for any way that ever hurts you. This whole blog is a journey to you, read it any time you need to know how loved you are.

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